Team Building with AHS

Nothing stands in the way of this group of daredevils.















I might be smiling here, but....














as you can see below, I am only one step away from certain death. Did I mention that beam is like 40 feet in the air? Hence the gear.

First Grade Honors Program

Princess is going to miss her teacher, Ms. Beard. She gave Rena the good friend award and Rena just had to hug her good-bye.

Girl Scout Day Camp

Our little princess got to go camping all day with other Girl Scout Troops.
They made pet rocks...


















Beaded "peace and love" necklaces, using the beads to spell it out in Morse code.














Despite that it was raining, we still had a water race. The girls at the bottom of the photo are plugging holes in the pipe while princess and the other girls in the line take turns running cups of water from the bucket to the pipe. The best part of this game was that the girls plugging the holes just couldn't help taking a break to stand up and look inside the pipe to see how high the water was. And each time, it would leak like a sieve.

Grow and Learn

We found our frog. There is still no verdict as to what kind of frog he is... any votes?

Baseball for Prince

Our first baseball season at the local church. Prince gets a trophy from Coach Pitman while we dine at CiCi's.

Raising the next generation of geeks.

Would you like to know just how sad our weekday evenings at home are? Last night after baseball practice, we ate dinner and as usual heard our little frog start singing. He just went on and on, which caused him to become the focus of our dinner conversation. And what did we do? We became determined to figure out what kind of frog we have in our little water fountain.

So I whip out my iphone and search frogs of Tennessee by sound. That is right, we sat on the floor of the kitchen (next to the window closest to the frog) for a hour playing frog sounds until we could unanimously decide that we have a Crawfish Frog.

Crawfish Frog
Rana areolata

Photo by Bob English, LEAPS

Description: Crawfish frogs are typically 2.25 - 3 inches long. They are dark gray in color and are characterized by dark spots outlined with a light border on the back.

Reproduction & Growth: Females lay masses of 3000 - 7000 eggs. Eggs are attached to stems of vegetation. Metamorphosis of tadpoles takes about 2 months.

Habitat: Northern crawfish frogs are normally found in lowland woods, river floodplains and wetland prairies in western Tennessee. They remain underground in the burrows of other animals (often crawfish burrows) during the day.

Voice: (WAV file 66K) A deep snore that sounds like "waaaaater." (Recording courtesy of Carl Gerhardt.)

To add insult to injury, we are going to catch him this weekend JUST to be sure!!!

Ultra Glitter Weekend

While Tom and Prince were roughing it out in the rain and wind, Princess and I had to find a way to enjoy the weekend.


Princess and her Girl Scout Troop celebrated the end of the year and the ultimate girl spa and salon. We had "Runway Party" and each girl got make-up, glitter lotion, glitter hairspray in their up-do, dressed up and danced down the runway.


There was some serious drama going on.















And the party didn't stop there. We also went to skate night and "walked the wall", but look at the smile on her face.

Wet and Wild

So this weekend, Tom and Prince had an all boys wilderness weekend at the Webelos Woods Boy Scout Camp. The rain didn't dampen their spirits as they fished, beaded, put up tents, cooked, shot bb guns and (ever popular) dug for buried treasure. So far we Tom brought home one tick and a WHOLE LOT of dirty clothes. I am thinking we should just burn them and go buy new.

Just look at those beautiful tents.


















Let's not forget the treasure.

Cloudy with a chance for parties

We experienced a mild break in the monsoon weather. Prince got invited at the lasts minute (I mean 6 hours before the party) to Thoma's big 10 throw down. Having not met Thomas before, I thought it would be cool to hang out at the party and meet the parents. So I stayed inside in with the A/C and the kids ran out to the backyard. The party was originally geared for all boys, but princess made the most of it. Imagine my surprise when I walked outside to see this.


















The fun didn't stop there. After lunch, cake, ice cream, the boys took their water bottles and placed them on this little device known as a "water bottle launcher". Turns out, the air pressure from a tire pump can send a plastic water bottle several feet into the air. We also discovered that 2 Liter Coke bottles go even further, as Deacon launched it right into the neighbors' backyards.

Therapy

Ok. So I realize that this is a sharp turn from previous entries. In the past, I have used this blog to keep all of my friends and family up to date with the kids activities and make sure everyone can see for themselves the good times and the bad times that we encounter as they grow. This week, however, I have come to a breaking point. That moment in time when you are beside yourself and really don't know what to do next. In an effort to not go off the deep end, I have decided to write it all down and get it out of my system so I don't do something stupid, like implode.

I have struggled with my X for the past 3 years since our divorce. Well, now that I think about it, it was probably the past 10 years, but whatever. He is not a good person. He has no drive or ambition, no sense of morality and is completely incapable of love. How awful of me to say, right? I mean I was married to this person. I used to think that it was wrong to judge people - to give up on them, but I have come to the conclusion that it can be a great defense mechanism and that everyone has to take care of themself first. Had I truly passed judgement on X when I met him, I might not have married his ass.

I digress. Since the day I told him that I wanted a divorce, there have been a series of red flags that help me see what was coming next. It helped me see that one day in the not too distant future, he was going to walk away from his children and never look back and that I would be left standing there to pick up the pieces. Could that sign have been his request to give up his legal rights to the children (so he didn't have to pay child support) before I ever filed for the actual divorce? Could it be that he told me that he would never pay more than $100 a month to support the children? Well, by dammit, he has lived up to that promise. He is now 5 digits behind on his support and only 5 grand away from making Memphis' top ten most wanted dead beat dads. CONGRATS A-HOLE!

Let me also mention that X has another child that he hasn't seen or communicated with since the child was 3 months old. He was suppose to pay $50 a month for that child and so far has manage to be "unable". This information was all available to me when I left him, but I felt we were still going to be better off than living with him because he is one of those people that was ok living on the fringes of society. X doesn't mind living hand to mouth, buying a house in a less than questionable neighborhood or having friends that sold drugs. He doesn't mind having to support his children by running a whore house (did I mention that this was one of his master plans for starting his own business?). And since our divorce he has been unable to hold a job for more than 8 months. ANY JOB.

I take him back to court. The court throws him in jail, totals up the judgement against him and adds it to his back payment to me. So when he doesn't pay me, I am left paying all of the bills, all the court cost and still have to find a way to pay for the children. I have to do freelance work at night to come up with the money because my day job is paying for child care. He gets off scott free because he doesn't have a job. He doesn't have to. And why should he? As long as he is unemployed, he doesn't have to pay. Oh sure I can take him back to court, but what am I going to get out of it? There is no incentive for him to make any effort.

Ok, so life sucks. Whatever, right? This weeks calls me up to let me know that he is going to move out of the state to live with another friend and start his own business. Isn't that great? His own business. But it gets better. The business scam, I mean the business is computer repair. Someone is going to give him a store front to use for two months before he start charging him. Why do you need a store for that????

Does this flag anyone else? Let's take a look at how that is going to work for me. He is going to move out of state so that I can't put out a warrant for his arrest anymore. Well I could but it isn't going to do any good. He is going to have a cash based business (that he owns) so and that way he can pad the book however he wants to look broke and to keep from paying any child support, taxes or anything else. And most likely his true business (which the store will be a front for) will be illegal since the friend he is going to live with is tied to the police in that city and can basically insure a free pass.

GOD DAMMIT. Ok to say the least, there is no way in hell I am going to let the children anywhere near him. Not that it matters because he hasn't seen them since February 6th as is. Oh sure he calls once a month to talk to them for 2 minutes (literally two minutes, 1 minute for each child). What am I suppose to do now? What am I going to tell the children?

See no matter how much I hate him, part of him is in those kids and I can never tell them what a dick wad there father is because I don't want them to think that any part of them is bad.

To date, princess cries at least twice a week about missing her father. And get this, she is worried that he is lonely and doesn't have anyone to take care of him. That god forbidden SOB. Prince only inquires when they will see him next. He is so sensitive, he knows not to push the issue too much because it is hard for me to talk to prince about him. I do my best to dodge the issue, but clearly my nightmare vision is becoming a reality and I have no idea what to do next.

I am so filled with rage at A-Hole that I am half tempted to just tell them he is dead. Or worse tell them the truth. I am tried of saving his face to them. It only makes me out to be the bad guy and yet I can't bad mouth him because I have to protect them. I have to be strong no matter what happens, which for those of you who know me, know that I am WAY to dramatic to pull of the strong pillar of hope act. I cried so much this morning I can't believe any make-up managed to stick to my face. So I have to call the lawyer and figure out if there is anything that I can do to stop him. I wonder how many late nights I will have to stay up designing t-shirts to be able to pay for the answer to that question.

I realize that I can never make him be a good father. Shit, I can't even hope he ever will at this point. And yet, I guess I haven't gotten to the point where I just completely give up either. There has to be something that I can DO. I am a creative person. I can think outside of the box. I can find a way to make this work.

You see, I am pretty lucky. I have a great man in my life who does love my children and is helping me. And although I am whining about a few late nights working on freelance jobs, there are other mothers out there that have it a lot worse than I, with no one to help them.

His solution is to just forget about what I don't have and make the best with what I do. The most I could ever hope for is that he starts paying child support and I can start spending more time and energy with them instead of figuring out how to pay the bills. But that money won't replace having their father, X, in their life and sharing their lives with him. It won't make X love them. It won't make X miss them or want to do right by them. It won't help me explain why X won't see them. And even if I find a way to move past it and forget about him, to just give up, (that part is easy), it won't make them forget about him.